I had the brilliant idea of signing us up for Italian language class on Tuesday nights. We are going to be spending most of our honeymoon in the land of pizza so why not get excited and prepare ourselves for our full immersion!? I knew that there’d be a few characters in our class -community continuing education- santa monica’s finest. But nothing prepared me for the lady sitting in front of me…
Our teacher Romualdo is pazzo (crazy) in a great way (a heavy-set, loud man in his 60’s with bushy white hair who bellows out Italian and small obscenities). In the 3 hour class I grasped at phrases and pronunciation. Its similarity to Spanish is very helpful but I think I might have used up my foreign language capacity in my brain already. Meanwhile Mike was getting praise for his perfect pronunciation (lucky!).
But I digress… the lady in front of me! Oh dear baby Jesus. She was older (which is where my patience came from -treat her as if she were my very own nana-) and extremely vocal. She basically kept up an ongoing conversation with no one in particular for the entirety of the class. Because she was talking, she kept missing the actual content being taught and therefore would yell out, “what? What does this mean? Why? Is it masculine or feminine?” One of the women snapped on her halfway through the class, it was intense.
Just when I had decided that I might have to shove my pencil through the back of her head Romualdo taught us the word for CAT -same as Spanish- GATO. And she told no one in particular that her gato Bill had died and then began to cry a little bit. She was one of my peoples! Poor cat woman. Now it all made sense, she was insane because she was still reeling from her cat’s passing, a normal form of healing.
Mi piace pizza molto. I like pizza very much.
Ed io vado pazzo per le belle donne. I’m crazy about beautiful women.
Solo scherzando. Just kidding.
Ciao, Mio nonno e moro. Bye my grandpa is dead.
I’m super excited for next week’s class, maybe I’ll learn the word for pony!