You all will remember that fateful day at the DMV when I was officially pronounced blind. Well since then I’ve been dutifully wearing my awesome RayBan glasses. At first it was just when I was driving and watching tv (that little guide is hard to read far away!). But soon I was wearing them more often, cuz seeing was super cool. And now, I actually get headaches if I don’t wear them! rats.
So I bravely made an appointment at LensCrafters to try and join the rest of the world in contact land. With a wedding and honeymoon in the mix this year it’d be really nice not to have to be blind or burdened with plastic frames.
The good news; my eyesight hasn’t changed. I’m not getting blinder! YAY
The bad news; it turns out shoving my fingers into my eyeballs is really really hard.
They actually gave me a “contacts coach” at the store. Carlos sat, WAY too close, and encouraged me to shove that contact lens right straight into my pupil. This is completely counterintuitive mind you.
“Ohh almost, you blinked.”
“Try again, your eyelashes got in the way.”
“Why don’t you spread your eyelid open a bit more and go in from a lower angle.”
“Don’t worry, take a breath, these things take time.”
“Look straight at the lens as you insert it.”
Rage filled my body. I wanted to shove all ten of my fingers into HIS eyeballs! I wanted Carlos to drown in a pool of contact solution. Instead I cried, just a little (my eyes were already watering anyways).
I finally succeeded, no thanks to Carlos. And since then I’ve been getting better. It still feels VERY unnatural and taking them out is as equally disturbing.
See ya later glasses! Kinda, today I just couldn’t stab my eyeballs…