Poking my Eyeballs with my Fingers, over and over again.

30 Jan

You all will remember that fateful day at the DMV when I was officially pronounced blind.  Well since then I’ve been dutifully wearing my awesome RayBan glasses.  At first it was just when I was driving and watching tv (that little guide is hard to read far away!).  But soon I was wearing them more often, cuz seeing was super cool.  And now, I actually get headaches if I don’t wear them! rats.



So I bravely made an appointment at LensCrafters to try and join the rest of the world in contact land.  With a wedding and honeymoon in the mix this year it’d be really nice not to have to be blind or burdened with plastic frames.


The good news;  my eyesight hasn’t changed.  I’m not getting blinder! YAY


The bad news; it turns out shoving my fingers into my eyeballs is really really hard.


They actually gave me a “contacts coach” at the store.  Carlos sat, WAY too close, and encouraged me to shove that contact lens right straight into my pupil.  This is completely counterintuitive mind you.

“Ohh almost, you blinked.”

“Try again, your eyelashes got in the way.”

“Why don’t you spread your eyelid open a bit more and go in from a lower angle.”

“Don’t worry, take a breath, these things take time.”

“Look straight at the lens as you insert it.”


Rage filled my body.  I wanted to shove all ten of my fingers into HIS eyeballs!  I wanted Carlos to drown in a pool of contact solution.  Instead I cried, just a little (my eyes were already watering anyways).


I finally succeeded, no thanks to Carlos.  And since then I’ve been getting better.  It still feels VERY unnatural and taking them out is as equally disturbing.




There’s a contact in there!



See ya later glasses!  Kinda, today I just couldn’t stab my eyeballs…



4 Responses to “Poking my Eyeballs with my Fingers, over and over again.”

  1. Bobbie Jo January 30, 2013 at 9:44 am #

    I got contacts in college. I sat on my bathroom sink crying daily for at least a week thinking, “second graders can do this, why can’t I?!”

  2. Heidi Gramlich Bryson January 30, 2013 at 9:54 am #

    Hahaha, the exact same thing happened to me! I decided to finally take the leap and get contacts before the wedding. After being traumatized by the eye doctor who shoved them in my eyes the first time, I spent two hours over a period of two days with an extremely patient middle-aged woman named Jane, trying desperately to control reflexes that I had spent a lifetime honing to protect my eyes. It makes me feel better that I was not alone in being unable to manage something that apparently millions of other people can do. It does get better though – it only takes me three minutes to put in my contacts in the morning instead of a half hour now!

  3. auntie coon January 30, 2013 at 11:54 am #

    Wish I could wear contacts, but my eyeballs are shaped weird. Have you checked into laser? Pay for it once, and that’s it!

  4. Nanny January 30, 2013 at 9:10 pm #

    Congratulations!! Even tho you’ve always looked so cutie w/glasses, I’m sure you’ll love them in no time. When I tried the icky hard ones 100 years ago they made me deaf. I dumped them in two weeks and my hearing got much better.

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