AWFUL dates… yep, I’ve had them.

15 Feb

Last night I had the most wonderful Valentine’s dinner date with the bf.  In fact all of our dates are just so amazing.  But remember those dates that were the opposite of amazing??  I do, and I’m just so glad those days are over!  Here are a few highlights from ‘ghosts of bad dates’ past.’

“Hey guys!  Remember me?”  (I hope they are reading this…)

Junior year of high school crush:  You were a senior and super cool.  Thank you for looking past my flat chest and asking me out.  “Dress warm” you said.  Cute! Maybe we’re going skating and getting hot chocolate??  Nope, you take me ICE FISHING in a tiny freezing cold hut in the middle of no-where.  I almost lost my toes to frost bite.

and you wonder why I moved to California...

Summer before college boyfriend:  Weird that you were dating my friend but now we’re dating. You took me out for the first time to an independent movie on a hot summer day.  I wore that cream colored summer dress.  You suggested we get a lemonade at the restaurant outside beforehand.  It’s SO hot and I feel REALLY sweaty in my legs and chair.  Time to go to the movie… horrified looks from people at tables around me.  BAM, got my period, everywhere…  NO MOVIE.

Reunion date: I was back from college, on break, and we ran into each other.  You didn’t even know that I existed in high school and are a few years older.  You asked me out that night.  We went to dinner at this really cute exotic little place.  I couldn’t understand ANYTHING on the stupid menu and so just ordered something that appeared to have pasta.  I take a few bites.  You laugh.  I have a plate of squid spaghetti and my mouth and teeth are completely black for the rest of the night.  Awesome.

Don't be afraid to ask the server for suggestions!

Hockey Player Double: I don’t know you and you’re a hockey player so I agree to only go on a date if you bring a friend for my friend and we double.  The restaurant is nice but you bring your French Canadian teammate who speaks absolutely NO English.  Seriously?

Studying Abroad Dating: You are from Bermuda!! (who the heck is from there??) And we’re in London and I’m so excited to go out with you and your accent.  Until you order me a double martini and shortly thereafter I begin to cry hysterically and accuse you of stealing my purse (which is located under my seat).  Oops.

don't look at me!

Spain: Speaking of foreign dating.  Basically ALL of my dates while living in Barcelona can fall under the category of ‘bizarre/awful/funny.’

And the last terrible date I had 2 years ago:

Chips ‘n Guac Guy: This was a set up through friends.  You’re actually not terrible looking but so far your personality is greatly lacking.  You like techno music!?  “It’s getting late…”  Fine, I’ll split the bill… $5!!!  $2.50 on each of our cards?  RIDICULOUS.

 

done with the dating game, phew!

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12 Responses to “AWFUL dates… yep, I’ve had them.”

  1. auntie coon February 15, 2012 at 10:07 am #

    FUNNY! How would you compare dating American men vs. men from everywhere else?

    • The Under-Analyst February 15, 2012 at 10:22 am #

      They are all idiots but I’d say foreign dating is difficult and funny, trying to understand humor and language barriers is something we don’t normally deal with on good ole American dates.

  2. lucky_in_love February 15, 2012 at 10:11 am #

    OMG! I can testify these are 100% true stories… I may or may not have been one of those “friends”. great memories at least…

    • The Under-Analyst February 15, 2012 at 10:19 am #

      🙂 miss you.

  3. Andy February 15, 2012 at 10:17 am #

    my mom forced me to go on a blind date with her co-worker’s son when i was 19 (we would have a lot in common since we were both in the national guard??). he was short, looked like a baby bird, was very awkward, and CLEARLY gay. Thanks Mom.

    • The Under-Analyst February 15, 2012 at 10:18 am #

      HAhahahahahHA love it.

  4. Mama Chrissy February 15, 2012 at 11:43 am #

    Oh Leana…..Mama is so happy those days are over:)

  5. kelsey February 15, 2012 at 12:31 pm #

    OK, these are too good to be true. 🙂

  6. anne February 16, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

    I want to hear more about the Spain dates!!!

  7. Nanny February 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm #

    Tender-hearted reading, how fortunate to be where you are today! I’m going to email you the initials of what sounded at the time to be one of the cheapest and boringest ever. Let us know if you agree.

  8. best friend February 24, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    you’re welcome for chips and guac guy. my bad?

    • The Under-Analyst March 23, 2012 at 7:54 am #

      you’re forgiven.

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